Welcome to Awesometown

Black Men Can't Pay Taxes

2006-10-17T17:05:00.000-04:00

Wesley Snipes is facing 16 years in prison for not paying taxes.

2006-10-11T20:20:00.000-04:00

Jessica Simpson -- I Belong To Me

Sneak preview of hotness

2006-10-05T02:44:00.000-04:00

Fry That Chicken

amazing

2006-10-05T02:42:00.000-04:00

Little Suppasta

Going home immediately to smoke a doob and watch this on repeat.

Tina vs Britney: It's Over!

2006-09-28T13:31:00.000-04:00

MSNBC.com is reporting that Christina Aguilera gave a $750 gift bag to Britney Spears, thus ending their feud. If I recall, the feud stemmed from Christina used to be jealous of Brit b/c Brit was the queen of pop even though Tina was more talented.

No Shit their feud is over and it has nothing to do w/ a dam gift bag---Christina won! Tina is still a pop queen while Brit a a fat azz mother of two walking around barefoot and grubbing fast food. Tina's gesture was the same thing as if you beat somebody's ass and then offer to give them a ride to the hospital. "Uh, sorry your face is fucked up----here's a band-aid." (i.e. sorry your career is over and you are a fat, white trash, hog----here are some baby toys.)

Dirty Screech

2006-09-27T10:57:00.000-04:00

The New York Dailly News is reporting today that Dustin Diamond has a sex tape coming out. Says the Daily News:

We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."

What could I possibly say to add on to that?? A Dirty Sanchez?? Really?? For those of you that don't know, I've been told it involves a finger in the ass and then rubbing that finger on your partners upper lip.......I mean, WOW. I wonder if he gave or received??

Paris Hilton: Bad at Geography

2006-09-26T14:04:00.000-04:00

Ecoist.com hired Paris Hilton the spokesperson for their company. Aparently, everytime you buy one of their accesories, they plant a tree (or some hippie shit like that).

According to msnbc.com:

“Ecoist is hoping that Paris will join them in October on a trip to Port-Au-Prince to plant more than 40,000 trees,” a source says. “But when she was told about the trip, Paris had no idea where Haiti was. When she was told that they speak French there [along with Creole], she said, ‘I wouldn’t mind spending a few days there and the weekend in Paris.”

Don't worry Paris, you'll love Haiti. Oh, and the best part is that you never have to wear condoms down there, so fuck as much as you like.

He's taking Sexy Back!

2006-09-26T13:35:00.000-04:00

Believe it or not, Clay Aiken’s new album of schlocky tunes for blue-haired ladies, "A Thousand Different Ways," looks as though it just outsold Justin Timberlake’s "FutureSex/LoveSounds" and took the No. 1 spot. It was Aiken’s debut week and Justin’s second week. Weird, huh?

Justin Timberlake was unavailable for comment on this. However, when he heard the news, fellow *Nsyncer Lance Bass was quoted as saying. "Oh, Yay!!"

Substance Abuse Policy at Marshall is slack

2006-09-25T16:39:00.000-04:00

Payaso Pays Tribute to One Of His All Time Faves...

2006-09-22T16:44:00.000-04:00

I don't know if it's the Nikes, the boob sticking out of the side, the hat, or just Petra in general but Petra Nemcova permanently resides in Payaso's Top 5. Way to go Jimmy Blunt.

Cocaine Goes Legal......................sort of

2006-09-21T12:06:00.000-04:00

350% Stronger than Red Bull and further proof that Jolt Cola was just a bit before it's time.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=406304&in_page_id=1770

K Fed gets new modeling gig

2006-09-21T03:37:00.000-04:00

Booooooooooooooo. Why can't this assclown just call it quits on having any sort of career. Live off Britney's money and produce infants. Thats all your good for.

link

Holy Shit!!!

2006-09-20T09:44:00.000-04:00

Has Madonna always been a drag queen or did it just grow a dick???

Please Tell this woman to EAT!!!!!

2006-09-20T09:32:00.000-04:00

Thanks to wwtdd.com for the pic.

Dahlia is Terrible....

2006-09-19T15:03:00.000-04:00

, but Scarlett J is absolutely on fiyah.

Pissed

2006-09-19T10:38:00.000-04:00

Tiger Woods is pissed b/c a Dublin Magazine published topless pictures of his wife. Tiger...dude...you can't get pissed about something like that after your wife has done a photoshoot like this. (love her tat by the way) NSFW.

Pic 1
Pic 2
Pic 3
Pic 4
Pic 5
Pic 6
Pic 7

NOTE There are reports out there saying that this isn't Tiger's wife, so who knows.

Willie Nelson: BUSTED (again)

2006-09-19T10:16:00.000-04:00

MSNBC is reporting that Willies Nelson was busted the other night for Mushrooms (aka. boomers) and marijuana. Speaking from experience, that is an intense buzz. The last two times I subjected myself to that were in Amsterdam and then at a Phish show---I was 21 and it involved laughter, tears, and vomiting....In other words, it was awesome.

Willie probably was able to hold his buzz a little better than I did though considering he is 73 years old and has at least 55 years of experience. Can anyone here imagine their grandparents on mushrooms?? And we thought it was Alzheimer's...........

2006-09-17T02:10:00.000-04:00

Tongue Twister

Unbelievable funny. Who would agree to do this show? Crazy Japanese bastards.

ZING!

2006-09-15T08:31:00.000-04:00

Hollywood is phucking awesome! Ummm, akward.

Things that get on my nerves version 1.0

2006-09-14T12:53:00.000-04:00

I just got back from the dentist. Nothing is more annoying than the Hygenist trying to have a conversation with me when she is cleaning my teeth. You would think she had cleaned enough teeth that they would know that humans are incapable of speeking with a pick-axe, tooth brush, and fire hose in their mouths.

Another thing that gets on my nerves: pubic hair

I am heading out of town on a humanitarian mission. Y'all have a good weekend and see you Monday.

Album of the Year (other than DJ T$)

2006-09-13T20:30:00.000-04:00

Go pick up the album "NIGHT RIPPER" by Girl Talk.

Terrible name (unless you like hearing about how big my mule is), great album.

Its on iTunes.

We don't normally rep other stuff than our in house DJ (T$), but this is great stuff. I haven't danced around to my hits this good since 50 dropped "In da Club."

Its basically like 25-30 songs combined into one.

Start with "FRIDAY NIGHT" and "THATS MY DJ."

I'm starting now

2006-09-13T16:55:00.000-04:00

The University of Northern Colorado's back up punter got pissed and stabbed the starter in his kicking leg.

I can understand his frustration--My threesomes usually end up with only one of the girls getting my D and the other girl just sitting there occasionally licking my balls and flicking her bean while grunting "yeah".

Well, that is exactly what being the back up punter must feel like---you're the girl who just grunts "yeah." Now does anyone want to be the back up punter??

And why the picture of the cat with a lime on its head? Because it's adorable.

Nancy Grace is Terrifying

2006-09-13T16:37:00.000-04:00

Not only does Nancy Grace have an uncanny resemblance to Eyore, but she has the ability to make someone kill themself after that person's child was abducted/

Katie Holmes' Baby Daddy is Who?

2006-09-13T14:14:00.000-04:00

I just got this email forwarded to me and have no idea if it's true or not. However, it does sound resonable...I mean, Tom does seem to fancy penis so this makes some sense. Enjoy:

Guess what I heard:

You guys are not going to believe this... I finally found out why Katie
Holmes agreed to this charade with Tom Cruise. Here's the story:

It all started when Katie was engaged to Chris Klein. Apparently, he is
the father (just wait, listen to the evidence). So, Chris Klein broke
off the engagement and has been pretty cold ever since. Katie was either
already pregnant or became pregnant during their break-up and get back together
phase (it's unclear). Katie was basically heart broken and pregnant with
a baby whose father wanted nothing to do with them.

In comes Tom Cruise. It was the perfect situation: Tom is gay and needs to
be married to cover his image and Katie was in need (and Tom paid Katie
to enter into this contract).

Katie and Tom began their whirlwind romance right after Katie's engagement was called off. They had to make it intense right off the bat because she didn't have a big window to "get pregnant".

Hence the couch jumping and other ridiculous acts that were done to make
the public believe that they were so in love that they just wanted to
have a baby right away.

Fast forward. Remember how quickly Katie got big and how big she was for
so long??? She actually delivered the baby well before they announced
the delivery, AND that's why they've kept the baby in hiding for 4
months.

It's easy to tell that a 2 month old could not possibly be 3 weeks old, but
there's not a huge difference between a 4 month old and a 5 month old.

Got it. It's crazy and you heard it here first
(Edited to add: You can really sense how worked up this chick gets with every word she types. She LOVES this shit.)

2006-09-13T14:11:00.000-04:00

Ben Affleck Drunk Hitting On Reporter And Cheating On Wife

ZING!

Lohan's Burger Part Deux

2006-09-12T15:26:00.000-04:00

Perez Hilton has new pictures of Lohan going commando AGAIN! Now I'm not a doctor but I do know a Hatchet wound when I see one. Picture isn't safe for work.

Britney Spears is a mom Again

2006-09-12T15:11:00.000-04:00

Multiple sites are reporting that Britney Spears has given birth to her second child a little less than a year after the birth of her first child Sean Preston. By my unofficial count this is K-Fed's 14th kid. Good lord his sperm is fertile. Instead of sending grain to 3rd world countries we should just have K-Fed whack off on their ground and then watch the crops grow. Plus, it would give that piece of shit a job.

And speaking of whacking off, look at how hot Britney used to be.

Woods and Federer Sippin' on Dom Perignon

2006-09-11T03:58:00.000-04:00

Tiger Woods made a special trip to New York to meet Roger Federer and watch him play Andy Roddick in the US Open Final. After Federer's victory, they spent an hour talking about how awsome they both were while sipping on champagne. All I have to say to that is, if you wanted to make it a real party where was MJ's and my invite. I mean have a little respect for the other supernatural humans.

Paris busted for a DUI.

2006-09-07T08:39:00.000-04:00

TMZ reports that Paris Hilton got a DUI in Hollywood after leaving a night club last night.

I don't know about you but I am shocked!!! Sure, she is known as a partier...And she always rode in a car away from the scene obviously wasted in all the video with her and that fat piece of shit bashing Lohan. But I would have never thought she'd be the one behind the wheel---I always just assumed that she rode shot gun, cut a couple of lines out on a CD case and then startind sucking the cock of what ever dude drove her home that night. Hmmm?

Are his 15 minutes up yet????

2006-09-06T18:17:00.000-04:00

Seriously, when is this dude going to go the way of Vanilla Ice? I have had enough. Surreal Life 2010 can't get here quickly enough. For the life of me I can't understand why this guy is not just torn to pieces in the press. His crusade to save the penny, while touching, was about the most retarded fucking thing I have ever seen. His beats are ok, but his lyrics suck and he can't rap worth a shit. He's married to a washed up pop star that he is suckling for cash to support his rap "career" and growing pack of kids (3 at recent count, 4th on the way).

The clock is ticking K-Fed, 13:01, 13:02.....

Lohan's Burger

2006-09-06T12:53:00.000-04:00

The great What Would Tyler Durden Do has posted pictures of Lohan's Box. From the looks of this picture and this one, it appears impossible to tell if she is a "fire crotch" or not

Is it wearing a wig!!??

2006-09-06T11:28:00.000-04:00

Not scene are Suri's hooves and tail.

Crocodile Hunter killed

2006-09-04T18:16:00.000-04:00

I honestly don't know what to say....the guy is able to pull shit off like in the picture above and feed a 16 foot croc while holding his kid and then he gets killed by a sting ray??!! A sting ray that stabbed him in the heart??!! What the fuck!!???

And there you have it...

2006-09-01T17:10:00.000-04:00

J.LO.....WTF?

2006-09-01T14:00:00.000-04:00

I honsestly can't tell if she was going for the Shark Suit look or if she got a gig endorsing pancakes.

2006-09-01T13:04:00.000-04:00

Shakira & Wyclef Jean - Hips don't lie \ Live MTV VMA's 2006

Oh my...

2006 VMAs

2006-09-01T10:06:00.000-04:00

I didn't watch much of the VMA's last night but I did watch the beginning. First of all, when was MTV bought by BET??

My Chemical Romance has firmly planted itself as the worst band of this decade. That whole Black Parade skit from the roof top was an absolute embarrassment and these guys should be shot. These loser take themselves way, way to seriously. A rock opera?? Really? LAME!

Justin Timberlake then got things started w/ a performance of "Sexy Back". And boy has that Justin gotten racy. On numerous occasions throughout the song my girlfriend, who is a huge JT fan, giggled like a school girl and said "I didn't know that was what the words were. te-he-he-he." She is almost 30. (And yes ladies, I do have a girlfriend. Sorry.) You know, that Justin really has turned into a badazz these days-suggestive lyrics, cursing, etc. It's almost hard to remember that he was in fucking *NSYNC....with Lance Bass! AND that he won a gawddam beauty pageant as a kid! Justin, you are one bad mother fucker. Seriously....

Also, Kelly Clarkson beat out Madonna, Christina Agulera, and Nellie Fertado for a VMA. Some of you may scoff at this and say that it is absurd that a contest winner would beat these girls out for an award. I disagree though. Because unlike these girls, Kelly didn't use her tongue as a dart board for seamen to get a record deal. You go girl!

Is Tom taking a Dump?

2006-08-31T17:55:00.000-04:00

Everyone's Favorite Scientologist Inks With Everyone's Favorite NFL Owner....

2006-08-31T16:53:00.000-04:00

One is known for recently going crazy, losing his job, and believing that the Evil Intergalactic Ruler Xenu populates the world's volcanoes. The other is known for signing overpriced, washed up former stars that will never perform up to their previous all-star levels again. The similarities between Snyder trying to buy himself a Super Bowl in 2001 by overpaying 1990's superstars, and failing miserably I might add, are priceless! Tom, welcome aboard you crazy FUCK!

Tom Cruise inks deal with Redskins owner Daniel Snyder:

http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/sports/15406198.htm

2006-08-31T16:33:00.000-04:00

Paula Abdul

Pillz are gooood.
Edited to add that you need to turn your volume up as loud as you can. It looks like the person who posted this recorded their TV w/ a video recorder.

8/31/06 may be best night of the year

2006-08-31T16:06:00.000-04:00

The stars have aligned and given us one of the greatest nights in television history. College Football returns on the same night as the MTV VMAs. This once in a lifetime event will allow us to gamble on games, laugh at morons like K-Fed, and sprout wood at the site of a multitude of slutty pop ass. My head just exploded.

Shocker

2006-08-31T10:40:00.000-04:00

Who would have ever thought that John Travolta was gay??!!!

This was origianlly posted on the the always great www.wwtdd.com.

Woops!

2006-08-30T12:40:00.000-04:00

People Magazine confirms why it took Matt Leinert so long to sign with the Cardinals. His pull-out skills obviously aren't as tight as his spiral.

No Diggity!

2006-08-26T08:46:00.000-04:00

Elton John is now planning on making a hip-hop album.

"I want to work with Pharrell (Williams), Timbaland, Snoop (Dogg), Kanye (West), Eminem and just see what happens. It may be a disaster, it could be fantastic, but you don't know until you try," he said.

This sounds like a GREAT idea. Nothing screams street cred like a 60 year, penis loving Brit spitting rhymes. Word.

New Meaning of the term "Shocker"

2006-08-22T17:14:00.000-04:00

In a bizarre news story coming out of India, a 24-year old man apparently has admitted himself to a hospital to have the second of two FULLY FUNCTIONAL penises removed. I know that you want to live a normal life bro, but I'm actually speechless that you are having this thing cut off without at least exploring the possibilities....

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - An Indian businessman born with two penises wants one
of them removed surgically as he wants to marry and lead a normal sexual life, a
newspaper report said Saturday.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060819/od_nm/india_operation_dc

In the Spirit of Football

2006-08-22T13:59:00.000-04:00

I would love to know what in the phuck Jimmie Johnson is doing right here. Remember the hair gel incident last year on Fox. Locating picture....

and found it.

Little League

2006-08-21T13:06:00.000-04:00

Which do you find more bizarre, the fact that a kid that is 6-foot-8, 245, is playing in the Little League World Series or the fact that he is playing for Saudi Arabia?????? FOX SPORTS

2006-08-21T11:27:00.000-04:00

K-Fed Rocks the Teen Choice Awards

can't watch

The Teen Choice Awards

2006-08-21T10:54:00.000-04:00

I caught bits and pieces of it last night and I think it is safe to say that the whole show was uncomfortable--I actually had to leave the room during K-Fed's performance b/c it made me bug so bad. Highlights included:

Nellie Fertado singing "Promiscuous" to an audience of 12 year olds and then saying "Remember, if you are going to be promiscuous be safe and use a condom."
Dane Cook telling Micha Barton that he has wanted to give her something since he first saw her on the OC 3 years ago and then he handed her a sandwich.
Jessica Alba
Brittany Spears walking on stage as a surprise guest, 7 months pregnant with massive breasts, weighing in at 250 lbs, smacking gum and dressed in a ballerina outfit. She was naturally greeted with a standing ovation.
Finding out that K-Fed's record label is called Federation Records (get it?)
The lyrics to K-Fed's song: "You wanna hate me but I got nice toys. My Ferrari cost more than your Atari." (seriously)

2006-08-20T13:58:00.000-04:00

Celebrity Thongs

2006-08-20T13:55:00.000-04:00

Smelly Monkey on Log

Snakes on a Plane

2006-08-18T16:01:00.000-04:00

Let me start off by saying there isn't a chance in hell that I will see this movie. I already get my tweek on flying, and I am already absolutely terrified of snakes. Additionally, I am absolutely positive that in multiple theatres nationwide there will be a series of smart azzes that visit their local pet store and decide to have a little fun with the movie gallery. That being said, whoever is in charge of marketing for this movie is absolutely brilliant. Based on the hype I have heard just walking around today, this may be the blockbuster of the summmer. The title and plot of the movie are so absurdly stupid that even the main characters make fun of it. At the same time, you can create automated phone calls from Samuel L J himself telling you to go see the movie. As I said, I am completely OUT on being attacked by animals (sharks, snakes, crocodiles, whatever), but if you are into scary movies and that type of shit it seems like a must see.

Condom fashion show??

2006-08-18T10:00:00.000-04:00

WTF!??

Laguna Beach Season 3

2006-08-18T09:27:00.000-04:00

I watched the first episode of Laguna Beach Season 3 last night on TiVo....and yes, 27 year old straight males TiVo Laguna Beach. I was pretty disappointed and think this season is going to tank---not only is Kristin gone, but now they have an umpa-lumpa cast as one of the main characters.

I know these are fake but....

2006-08-17T18:02:00.000-04:00

DAMN!!! X-Tina's rocking an awesome set of twins these days.

Thanks to US Magazine for the photo.

It's all about the music

2006-08-17T15:14:00.000-04:00

Out busy promoting her new album, Paris Hilton wants people to judge her music for what it is and not let her image influence their opinions.

This is a pretty wise request because I don't think that I am alone when saying that when I get an image of Paris Hilton I see a strung out-- anorexic-- cock eyed tramp on all fours hunkered over a mirror with a rolled up dollar bill up her right nostril and 5 squirts of semen on her back.

She totally wrote this about me so everyone sing it now!

Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
if you show me real love baby
I'll show you mine!

I can make it nice and naughty
Im a devil and an angel too
get a heart, a soul and body
Lets see what this love can do baby
I'm perfect for you!!!

2006-08-17T09:44:00.000-04:00

ghost ride the whip

aka, dance next to your car with no one driving.

Nick Lachey has a little dick?

2006-08-16T17:14:00.000-04:00

Poor guy. He loses Jessica Simpson and now she's running around telling the media that he didn't pack much punch. I guess we all know what he really meant when singing What's left of me.

Artest Gives Advice

2006-08-16T17:03:00.000-04:00

ESPN reports a great story about some sound advice Ron Artest gave some kids during a community service event:

Someone started trouble and I ended it," Artest told about 50 children Wednesday at a panel on black empowerment at the Judge Mathis Community Center. "I would always encourage you to protect yourself but in certain situations, if you can avoid them, avoid them."

Speechless.

Prince Harry says it's all out of context

2006-08-16T16:32:00.000-04:00

In response to the publishing of pictures that show him groping a female companion while he and his brother are totally wasted, Prince harry issued a statement........Not because he cares that his behavior could be viewed as inappropriate for a Prince (We here at A-town are NOT in that camp--we think his behavior was, well...awesome) but because he has a serious girlfirend. Harry claims the pictures are old and he didn't even know his girlfriend at the time.

No one knows for sure whether he is telling the truth or not but one thing is certain and trust me when I write this---his girlfriend is going to be PISSED no matter what.

WTF Kate?

2006-08-16T14:33:00.000-04:00

The real question on everyone's mind regarding Kate Hudson is not whether or not she is dating Owen Wilson or if they had an affair whilst she was married, but when in the hell is she going to bite the bullet and buy some phucking b-cups. B's are not too much to ask. With that face and that azz, she would be the finest dime in Hollywood.

Later Chris Robinson

2006-08-16T13:07:00.000-04:00

Various rumors have surfaced that Owen Wilson may be the cause of the Kate Hudson-Chris Robinson split. Good for you Owen. Wait, was that a gunshot I just heard coming from Chris Robinson's house? I hate it for you Chris, seriously....

Fear the Turtle

2006-08-16T09:44:00.000-04:00

WTAtown brings you segment II of athletes who have completely lost their phucking minds.
The Washington Post reports that Lonnie Baxter, a former member of the University of Maryland's National Championship team, was arrested for firing off weapons a couple blocks from the WHITE HOUSE????? Brilliant Lonnie, no security around that place. Fear the Turtle

Integrity???

2006-08-16T08:44:00.000-04:00

To decide the winner of the Miss Teen USA Padgent last night, the final 5 girls were asked a question by one of the "celebrity" judges, who included track ledgend Carl Lewis and why the fuck is he famous Brody Jenner (I only know who he is b/c he is dating Kristin Cavalleri---you can do better Kristin--call me!).

Carl Lewis asked Katie Blair, aka Miss Montana, what integrity meant to her. She responded that integrity meant to never give up and to never let anything get in the way of you acomplishing your dreams (or something like that). Unfortunately for Katie, that is not anywhere close to what integrity means:

Noun
integrity
Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
The state of being wholesome; unimpaired
The quality or condition of being complete; pure

Unfortunately for Carl Lewis, Brody Jenner, the other judges and audience, and the douche bag from TRL (he was a host) Katie won.........Therefore, no one associated with last nights event can define the remidial vocabulary word integrity.....in other words they are all completely fucking retarded.

If the answers to the questions don't matter then I say throw that segment out and have more swimsuit competition time. You can view some of last nights hot teenage ass here, here, here, here, here, and here!

WTF is wrong with some people??

2006-08-15T15:41:00.000-04:00

Offering more proof that people will do anything to make a buck, Oasys Mobile has hired an actor to sound like Mel Gibson so you can use his Anti-Semetic Rant as your ring tone.

Who in the fuck is going to purchase this--the Hitler Youth?? This is just a bad idea all the way around----1) Mel's rant probably isn't funny and 2) some people just might get offended if your phone goes off and it's "jew this" and "Jew that".

If Oasis Mobile were smart, which they obviously aren't, they would use my boy Pat Obrien's voicemail from last year as their ring tone. I'm gonna go ahead and file a patent for this right now---you use it Oasis, then you need to pay the Pounder.

the Royal Blackouts

2006-08-15T11:02:00.000-04:00

I gotta respect this---Prince William and Prince Harry blackout in a club and Harry goes in for a kiss and a handful and what appears to be a perfectly fake titty. Also, 4-1 odds that William either is about to puke or did something that is making it temporarily impossible for him to feel his face. Big ups guys!

It Was Good While It Lasted...

2006-08-14T16:46:00.000-04:00

but Chris you should really be happy that it lasted 7 years because dude, she is ENTIRELY too hot for you. Black Crowes is a great band, but how far can rock star status really take you when she is a 10 and you are a 4??? On another note, Kate Hudson's career is conveniently set to blow up...

http://people.aol.com/people/article/0,26334,1226370,00.html

Paris and Jenna

2006-08-14T15:11:00.000-04:00

...So I guess this is Paris' way of proving to the world that she isn't the whore she was portrayed as in her sex tape. And how does she do this? She rolls hand in hand with the queen of the porn industry. Maybe her amateur video was actually an audition of sorts. Jenna was straight girl on girl while she was married so chances those two have "dined" together are pretty high.

Do you really want to hurt me?

2006-08-14T11:04:00.000-04:00

Boy George had to pick up trash in NYC this weekend as part of court ordered community service. If you recall, George was arrested b/c he hired a male hooker to do some blow and get a little wild. When the male whore tried to steal his coke, George took the logical action and called the cops. The cops, being the pigs that they are, arrested George for possession blow. Bastards!

George offered the NYC courts to put on a make-up and fashion show as part of his community service but they decided that picking up trash would be more appropriate........

2006-08-12T18:06:00.000-04:00

Queef?

Why would you put this on the internet?

2006-08-12T17:58:00.000-04:00

Dumb Ass Of The Year

I know its been on here before, but its so damn funny!

2006-08-12T17:53:00.000-04:00

Cocaine and Prostitutes are Fun

wow...this guy is done.

Jigga What, Jigga Who

2006-08-10T16:36:00.000-04:00

International Pimp/Diplomat. Gotta love this picture. Koffi just agreed that he wouldn't drink Crystal anymore either.

Maurice Clarett has lost his focking mind!!

2006-08-10T11:31:00.000-04:00

An assault rifle, hand gun, hatchet, and bullett proof vest??? Tazered and maced?? Alcoholism and steriod abuse??

THE Ohio State University should be proud.

Sweet Dog Tags Jason

2006-08-10T11:11:00.000-04:00

Does it infuriate anyone else that this clown is on television. The guy is unable to complete cohesive sentences or thoughts, has a chin strap with an accompanying mustache, has never worked a single day in his life, has apparently skipped college, and wears plantinum-black-diamond studded dog tags (like the ones used to identify soldiers, not to be worn by people who drive daddies Range Rover). Unless his dog tags say "Useless lil Phuck" it is a disgrace. Fortunately, the New York Post reports that he is about to make an absolute fool of himself in upcoming episodes of The Hills.

Val is Slipping

2006-08-09T14:50:00.000-04:00

Seems pretty evident Val Kilmer's Top Gun day's are over. In fifty years when reflecting on our generation, one of it's greatest let-downs will be the demise of Ice Man and Maverick. What ever happened to this:
Iceman: You two really are cowboys.
Maverick: What's your problem, Kazanski?
Iceman: You're everyone's problem. That's because everytime you go up in the air, you're unsafe. I don't like you because you're dangerous.
Maverick: That's right! Ice... man. I am dangerous.

Mischa No Longer Dating a Wet Dog...

2006-08-09T14:33:00.000-04:00

Bricks and Stones reports that Mischa Barton may have moved on from Cisco to "rugby star Mark Robison." That dood looks like a lil b!tch to me, much less a rugby star. What position does he play, weakside pu$sy?

No body puts baby in a corner!

2006-08-08T13:45:00.000-04:00

Mel Gibson's situation is looking up because who better to have behind you than the one and only Patrick Swayze?!

On second thought, if Swayze were ever actually behind me, I would be freaked the fock out. Creepy.

You gotta be f ing kidding me

2006-08-08T09:24:00.000-04:00

According to perezhilton.com, Dave Navarro is now dating "Heartbreaker" Jenna Jameson. If this guy's junk hangs anywhere above his knee there is something terribly wrong with this world. Carmen, now Jenna...is this a phucking joke? Look at that clown.

2006-08-07T16:07:00.000-04:00

Dave Chappelle Lost Episode Mac Commercial 2006

Dave finally settles the argument.

ATown's Summer Beats

2006-08-07T15:06:00.000-04:00

A'Towns own DJ T presents his summer double disk.
DISC I – SUMMER SIZZLE
1. I’m Bossy Keilis
2. Turn It Up Feat. Lil Flip Chamillionaire
3. Ms New Booty Bubba Sparxxx ft. Ying Yang Twins
4. Ridin' Dirty Chamillionaire feat. Krayzie Bone
5. Promiscuous Girl Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland
6. Stay Fly Three 6 Mafia
7. Real Big manie fresh
8. Why You Wanna T.I.
9. Im in love with my money Chamillionaire
10. Hips Don't Lie Shakira ft Wyclef Jean
11. It's Going Down Yung Joc
12. Hate It or Love It The Game
13. So What Field Mobb ft. Ciara
14. My Hood Young Jeezy
15. Girl Paul Wall
16. Ain't no other Man CHRISTINA AGUILERA
17. Picture Perfect (Ft. Bun B) Chamillionaire
18. Get Your Shine On Birdman & Lil Wayne

DISC II – T$’s Fur Coat
1. Number One Stunna Big Tymers
2. Gnarls Barkley Gnarls Barkley
3. Brooklyns Finest Jay-Z
4. Gimme That (Remix) Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne
5. The Mighty O Outkast
6. Number 1 (Feat. Kanye West) Pharell Williams
7. Burbons and Lacs Master P
8. Snitch Obie Trice featuring Akon
9. Suicide Gnarls Barkley
10. Have A Party Mobb Deep ft 50 & Nate Dogg -
11. This Is How We Do It Big Tymers
12. Elevators OutKast
13. SOS (Rescue Me) Rihanna
14. Smiley Faces Gnarles Barkley
15. I Got A Story To Tell Notorious BIG
16. Let's Get Lifted John Legend
17. What You Know T.I.
18. Wheelz of Steel OutKast

Paris Gets Her Vag on...

2006-08-07T10:17:00.000-04:00

In St. Tropez, Paris got her beaver on again...or maybe she is just clapping to the beat of the song. ZING.

LOL!!!

2006-08-04T09:40:00.000-04:00

I found this picture while looking for Britney Pictures and had to put it up...

Britney Spears Baby Safety Night?

2006-08-04T09:32:00.000-04:00

MSNBC reports that a minor league baseball team is having a Britney Spears baby Safety Night where if you dress up as a baby or bring a baby, you get in for free. Poor Brit can't buy a break. She's dropped that kid and had it sit in her lap while driving but it's just the we don't understand beacause, as she put it to Matt Lauer, “I did it with my dad. I’d sit on his lap and I drive...We’re country.”

Up next at the Ballpark: Magic Johnson Safe Sex Night.

2006-08-03T16:10:00.000-04:00

Tea Partay

I T in the parlor...

Elton John wants more Flair

2006-08-02T12:59:00.000-04:00

The AP reports that Elton John hates the way American Bands dress.

"........I think it's good that some American bands are beginning to do that, but it's still very rare for bands to make a real effort. So when you get groups like The Killers and Scissor Sisters who come along, it's thrilling. I'm so over the tattoos and the T-shirts and rings through the noses. It's not pretty, it's not pleasant, it's not exciting. Please stop it now."

Obviously Elton knows fashion. Just look at him in the above picture...and no one could play the piano while dressed as Donal Duck like he could. So don't listen to him American Bands, Sir Elton probably thinks it is poor fashion unless you can sing with a ball gag in your mouth while wearing ass-less chaps anyway.

One Month....

2006-08-02T11:31:00.000-04:00

One month from today until the pads start cracking for opening weekend of college football. I can't wait to lose a ton of money gambling on teams I don't care or know anything about. Online gambling accounts should require a sobriety test before submitting bets. Some highlights from week 1 include: Miami vs. Florida State, Notre Dame @ Ga. Tech, Washington St vs Auburn, Arkansas vs USC.

LL borrows Xtina's Clothes

2006-08-02T10:56:00.000-04:00

Apparently Lohan borrowed some clothes from Xtina yesterday. She may not work very hard on the movie set or in the recording studio, but she has done a nice job molding those fun bags.

Carmen Elektra would rather f*ck this...

2006-08-02T06:51:00.000-04:00

On MSNBC today, Dennis Rodman says that the reason Carmen Elektra left Dave Navarro is because she isn't over the Worm yet........It is hard to blame her. Just look at Rodman. Some call him the sexiest man of our generation and they are probably right.

That said, can it get any worse for Dave Navarro?? Your career has spiraled into being on the show Rock Star SuperNova and now this. I'm placing 10-1 odds that the next place we find Dave is in a cheap airport hotel with a bottle of booze and a penis, I mean pistol in his mouth.

Thug "U"

2006-08-01T15:58:00.000-04:00

The University of Miami, known amongst it's cocky atheletes as simply "the U," has suspended four football players for their opening game against Florida State. Every year we are reminded just how thug their football team can be, but it also reminds of our all time favorite Hurricane off-the-field issue: The Seventh Floor Crew Need Volume.

The Professional

2006-08-01T15:40:00.000-04:00

Miami Dolphins Defensive End Jason Taylor says there won't be any locker room problems even though he is getting divorced from teammates Zach Thomas's sister.

"As far as the question about the locker room, to be quite frank, I think it's ridiculous to me that anyone would even think that," Taylor said. "We're professionals, guys."

Thomas is indeed the consummate professional. There was no problem in the locker room when his sister was getting gored out by the 6'6" African-American Taylor with no doubt a nine inch dong, and there will be no problem now.

Mama Lohan Strikes back

2006-08-01T15:17:00.000-04:00

I'm sure you all recall that everyone's favorite party girl, Lindsay Lohan was reprimanded last week by the CEO of Morgan Creek Productions for missing a little too much work due to "Heat exhaustion."

Well, MSNBC reports today that Dina Lohan was not happy about her daughter being called out. In an interview with Ryan Seacrest Lite, aka Billy Bush, Dina said that the executive was "out of line" for the letter.

Out of line?? Out of Line?? I'll tell you what is out of line: it's Lindsay's mom looking like more of a strung out coke slut than Lindsay---and that has to take a lot of work. Just look at this woman. Would anyone be surprised if this was what showed up to perform at your buddies bachelor party?? Rooow!

Kid Rock Splunking Accident??

2006-08-01T11:58:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Splashnewsonline.com for the pic.

Xtina is a Philanthropist...

2006-08-01T09:41:00.000-04:00

...of her melons. I am slowly falling in love with this woman. In addition to her new see-through wardrobe, she recently told Seventeen magazine that she plans to open a shelter for victims of domestic abuse

Mel's Mug Shot

2006-08-01T08:15:00.000-04:00

The Smoking Gun has released Hitler's, uh I mean, Mel Gibson's mugshot from last Thursday night. Nice buzz Braveheart!

OH GOD! OH MY FREAKING GOD!

2006-07-31T15:39:00.000-04:00

USAToday.com is reporting that a Fresno, CA area radio station recently changed it's format from Christian radio to Porn radio. "all sex radio, all the time."

I don't know what significance this has, if any, except I'm sure there were a few really surprised devout Christians riding to work the morning they made the switch, expecting to get their Jesus on and instead hearing the slurping sounds of a blow job. What I do know is that those of you in the Fresno area need to be extra careful on the highways now because drive and beats have become way more enticing. Fresno here I come!!!

Source:http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2006-07-27-sexradio_x.htm?csp=34

Miami Vice is Number 1

2006-07-31T15:08:00.000-04:00

Everyone, including me, saw Miami Vice this weekend as it overtook Pirates of the Caribbean as the number one movie.

In related news, everyone, including me, is a sucker. If you are a fan of the show, don't see this movie. Colin Farrell's best acting job has been making everyone believe that he is actually some tough roughneck. In actuality he's a silver spooned brat from an affluent Irish Family. Jaime Foxx did an ok job, but I still think they should have given Don Johnson some botox and lipo-suction, found Philip Michael Thomas, and set the movie in the '80's.

Whether watching it on the big screen or doing it yourself, snorting coke, blowing stuff up, and banging exotic women is so much more fun when you're listening to Flock of Seagulls than it is when listening to Audio Slave

2006-07-29T15:27:00.000-04:00

The Office

Hard to say which Office is better, the British or the American version, but both are fucking hilarious. Heres a lil sample of the British version with Ricky Gervais

Mel's DUI Meltdown

2006-07-29T11:31:00.000-04:00

TMZ reports on Mel Gibson's amazing confrontation with the law. I guess that whole devout Catholic image he was trying to conjure up is dead. Sweet jesus Mel. "Sweet Tits"...brilliant.

2006-07-29T11:22:00.000-04:00

Sarah Silverman at the Pamela Anderson Roast

Been out of town for a while. Time to get things back up and running