Black Men Can't Pay Taxes

Wesley Snipes is facing 16 years in prison for not paying taxes.

Jessica Simpson -- I Belong To Me

Sneak preview of hotness

Fry That Chicken

amazing

Little Suppasta

Going home immediately to smoke a doob and watch this on repeat.

Tina vs Britney: It's Over!

MSNBC.com is reporting that Christina Aguilera gave a $750 gift bag to Britney Spears, thus ending their feud. If I recall, the feud stemmed from Christina used to be jealous of Brit b/c Brit was the queen of pop even though Tina was more talented.

No Shit their feud is over and it has nothing to do w/ a dam gift bag---Christina won! Tina is still a pop queen while Brit a a fat azz mother of two walking around barefoot and grubbing fast food. Tina's gesture was the same thing as if you beat somebody's ass and then offer to give them a ride to the hospital. "Uh, sorry your face is fucked up----here's a band-aid." (i.e. sorry your career is over and you are a fat, white trash, hog----here are some baby toys.)

Dirty Screech

The New York Dailly News is reporting today that Dustin Diamond has a sex tape coming out. Says the Daily News:

We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."

What could I possibly say to add on to that?? A Dirty Sanchez?? Really?? For those of you that don't know, I've been told it involves a finger in the ass and then rubbing that finger on your partners upper lip.......I mean, WOW. I wonder if he gave or received??

Paris Hilton: Bad at Geography

Ecoist.com hired Paris Hilton the spokesperson for their company. Aparently, everytime you buy one of their accesories, they plant a tree (or some hippie shit like that).

According to msnbc.com:

“Ecoist is hoping that Paris will join them in October on a trip to Port-Au-Prince to plant more than 40,000 trees,” a source says. “But when she was told about the trip, Paris had no idea where Haiti was. When she was told that they speak French there [along with Creole], she said, ‘I wouldn’t mind spending a few days there and the weekend in Paris.”

Don't worry Paris, you'll love Haiti. Oh, and the best part is that you never have to wear condoms down there, so fuck as much as you like.

He's taking Sexy Back!

Believe it or not, Clay Aiken’s new album of schlocky tunes for blue-haired ladies, "A Thousand Different Ways," looks as though it just outsold Justin Timberlake’s "FutureSex/LoveSounds" and took the No. 1 spot. It was Aiken’s debut week and Justin’s second week. Weird, huh?

Justin Timberlake was unavailable for comment on this. However, when he heard the news, fellow *Nsyncer Lance Bass was quoted as saying. "Oh, Yay!!"

Substance Abuse Policy at Marshall is slack

Payaso Pays Tribute to One Of His All Time Faves...

I don't know if it's the Nikes, the boob sticking out of the side, the hat, or just Petra in general but Petra Nemcova permanently resides in Payaso's Top 5. Way to go Jimmy Blunt.

Cocaine Goes Legal......................sort of

350% Stronger than Red Bull and further proof that Jolt Cola was just a bit before it's time.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=406304&in_page_id=1770

Tags: cocaine, cola

K Fed gets new modeling gig

Booooooooooooooo. Why can't this assclown just call it quits on having any sort of career. Live off Britney's money and produce infants. Thats all your good for.

link

Tags: Kevin, Federline

Holy Shit!!!

Has Madonna always been a drag queen or did it just grow a dick???

Please Tell this woman to EAT!!!!!

Thanks to wwtdd.com for the pic.

Dahlia is Terrible....

, but Scarlett J is absolutely on fiyah.

Pissed

Tiger Woods is pissed b/c a Dublin Magazine published topless pictures of his wife. Tiger...dude...you can't get pissed about something like that after your wife has done a photoshoot like this. (love her tat by the way) NSFW.

Pic 1
Pic 2
Pic 3
Pic 4
Pic 5
Pic 6
Pic 7

NOTE There are reports out there saying that this isn't Tiger's wife, so who knows.

Willie Nelson: BUSTED (again)

MSNBC is reporting that Willies Nelson was busted the other night for Mushrooms (aka. boomers) and marijuana. Speaking from experience, that is an intense buzz. The last two times I subjected myself to that were in Amsterdam and then at a Phish show---I was 21 and it involved laughter, tears, and vomiting....In other words, it was awesome.

Willie probably was able to hold his buzz a little better than I did though considering he is 73 years old and has at least 55 years of experience. Can anyone here imagine their grandparents on mushrooms?? And we thought it was Alzheimer's...........

Tongue Twister

Unbelievable funny. Who would agree to do this show? Crazy Japanese bastards.

Tags: Japanese, Tongue Twister

ZING!

Hollywood is phucking awesome! Ummm, akward.

Things that get on my nerves version 1.0

I just got back from the dentist. Nothing is more annoying than the Hygenist trying to have a conversation with me when she is cleaning my teeth. You would think she had cleaned enough teeth that they would know that humans are incapable of speeking with a pick-axe, tooth brush, and fire hose in their mouths.

Another thing that gets on my nerves: pubic hair

I am heading out of town on a humanitarian mission. Y'all have a good weekend and see you Monday.

Album of the Year (other than DJ T$)

Go pick up the album "NIGHT RIPPER" by Girl Talk.

Terrible name (unless you like hearing about how big my mule is), great album.

Its on iTunes.

We don't normally rep other stuff than our in house DJ (T$), but this is great stuff. I haven't danced around to my hits this good since 50 dropped "In da Club."

Its basically like 25-30 songs combined into one.

Start with "FRIDAY NIGHT" and "THATS MY DJ."

I'm starting now

The University of Northern Colorado's back up punter got pissed and stabbed the starter in his kicking leg.

I can understand his frustration--My threesomes usually end up with only one of the girls getting my D and the other girl just sitting there occasionally licking my balls and flicking her bean while grunting "yeah".

Well, that is exactly what being the back up punter must feel like---you're the girl who just grunts "yeah." Now does anyone want to be the back up punter??

And why the picture of the cat with a lime on its head? Because it's adorable.

Nancy Grace is Terrifying

Not only does Nancy Grace have an uncanny resemblance to Eyore, but she has the ability to make someone kill themself after that person's child was abducted/

Katie Holmes' Baby Daddy is Who?

I just got this email forwarded to me and have no idea if it's true or not. However, it does sound resonable...I mean, Tom does seem to fancy penis so this makes some sense. Enjoy:

Guess what I heard:

You guys are not going to believe this... I finally found out why Katie
Holmes agreed to this charade with Tom Cruise. Here's the story:

It all started when Katie was engaged to Chris Klein. Apparently, he is
the father (just wait, listen to the evidence). So, Chris Klein broke
off the engagement and has been pretty cold ever since. Katie was either
already pregnant or became pregnant during their break-up and get back together
phase (it's unclear). Katie was basically heart broken and pregnant with
a baby whose father wanted nothing to do with them.

In comes Tom Cruise. It was the perfect situation: Tom is gay and needs to
be married to cover his image and Katie was in need (and Tom paid Katie
to enter into this contract).

Katie and Tom began their whirlwind romance right after Katie's engagement was called off. They had to make it intense right off the bat because she didn't have a big window to "get pregnant".

Hence the couch jumping and other ridiculous acts that were done to make
the public believe that they were so in love that they just wanted to
have a baby right away.

Fast forward. Remember how quickly Katie got big and how big she was for
so long??? She actually delivered the baby well before they announced
the delivery, AND that's why they've kept the baby in hiding for 4
months.

It's easy to tell that a 2 month old could not possibly be 3 weeks old, but
there's not a huge difference between a 4 month old and a 5 month old.

Got it. It's crazy and you heard it here first
(Edited to add: You can really sense how worked up this chick gets with every word she types. She LOVES this shit.)

Ben Affleck Drunk Hitting On Reporter And Cheating On Wife

ZING!